Monday 3 August 2009
Taking a dip .....Cycle 2, Day 7
Yesterday and today, Steve's taken a dip, not in the sea or a pool, but in himself.
He felt out of sorts on Sunday, so probably not a bad thing that we had to abandon plans for lunch out with friends to avoid the risk of Anne and Colin passing on the swine flu bug which their son has just come down with. Get well soon, Alex!
Things worsened as the day progressed and culminated in a mad dash for the bathroom around 5 am this morning - the emergency bucket has been close at hand since then. By this evening things had improved a little; Steve felt able to eat a small meal, drink some water and keep down the anti-nausea tablets for the first time today, before turning in for a very early night.
Whether its the cumulative impact of the Cisplatin (in which case, it's worrying to think that it won't get any better over the coming months) or a bout of food poisoning (or perhaps too much clotted cream with the strawberries?) we really cannot say. However, the prospect of going to hospital tomorrow for another dose of chemo is not something that either of us is looking forward to...
Perhaps the most difficult thing to deal with in these circumstances is the feeling of helplessness - I simply don't know what to do to make Steve feel comfortable. Steve says he doesn't know what to do either. The pair of us feel more like a couple of lost children than grown-ups in control of our fate (not that we've ever felt that much in control...) Let's hope we can develop some coping mechanisms to hep us get through times like this.
In her e-mail today, Lesley said when you're in a trough it's difficult to see through to the next high. Wise words - it actually helps to think in terms of lows and highs - at least that way, when you're down, you can look forward to coming back up again, rather than sinking even lower. Today was a definite trough. Let's hope it's bottomed out and we can begin to go up again soon.