Friday, 14 May 2010

11 months on (almost)

On Sunday, it will be 11 months since Steve was diagnosed with mesothelioma. However, the monthly review is a couple of days early this time round as we will be otherwise engaged that day.  

Thankfully, as there is still no change in his physical condition - no pain or problems with breathlessness - Steve is still able to live a relatively normal life.  Emotionally, we are getting used to living with the mesothelioma time bomb, although it's not easy.  We try to make the most of life on a day-to-day basis, grabbing the opportunities as they come along, rather than planning too far ahead. In fact, we've returned to a pre-children lifestyle; doing things at the last minute has its advantages!  

That said, the emotions are still raw under a thin veneer of self-control.  In my case, it doesn't take much to start the tears welling up and bring a lump to my throat, as some of you will know.  But once the tension is released, I get on with life. Steve is remarkable. There are times when he gets angry (who wouldn't in his position?) but mostly he just carries on, occasionally reflecting on how fortunate he is compared to some who lose their lives much earlier, or who have other problems to contend with. As he remarked the other day, at least he doesn't have to worry too much about developing senile dementia (cue background music - Monty Python's Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.

On a serious note, there has been no change (as far as we can discern) since Steve's last hospital visit in March; the cancer still appears to be stable.  The next assessment visit is in June. No doubt, stress levels will start to rise as the date approaches, but we'll try hard not to think about that now. 

After what seemed like a long wait post-election, the country has a government; the election purdah is over. My report has been released; the work computer is switched off; the most urgent things on the housework "to do" list have been ticked off.  It's time to enjoy ourselves: I can feel a swallows and amazons moment approaching.  If you want to know more, watch this space.  

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