Thursday, 12 August 2010

growing old disgracefully while the due legal process grinds on

Setting mesothelioma aside - and that's a BIG ask - there are times when life feels like one big party. The last couple of weeks has felt like that...It's good to grow old acting a little bit disgracefully from time to time!  


Hard on the heels of my significant birthday party came Martin's (Steve's brother) birthday celebration in Frome last weekend.  We danced the night away to another good band and the birthday boy seemed to enjoy himself too!


A leisurely breakfast on Sunday morning was followed by a leisurely drive back to Oxford via the wonderful rolling downland of Salisbury Plain and the standing stones at Avebury, stopping from time to time to try our hand at some landscape photography.


I think that all this partying (not to mention the late nights) has finally taken its toll. We've both felt a bit whacked this week and I am still trying to finish writing all my notes to say thank you for the presents and making my party a very special occasion which neither of us will forget!  


In spite of taking great care transporting presents back home, the labels/cards became detached from two bottles of wine and two bunches of flowers. If these were from you, then I'm sorry not to be able to write to you personally to say thank you, but it's heart felt, none the less!  Amazingly, many of the flowers are still looking good and the remaining balloons are still decorating the ceiling in the front room!


I had hoped to tell you all about Steve's flying experience in today's blog - he was due to loop-the-loop in a Chipmunk airplane this afternoon.  However, the cloud cover is too low today, so the experience has been postponed again, but hopefully not for long this time....check back soon!  


The wheels of the legal system are grinding along slowly. At the end of June, papers were served on the County Council (education authority) and Oxford Brookes University (now an independent body) in relation to Steve's exposure to asbestos when he demolished partitions to create a big open-plan studio for the School of Architecture at the Polytechnic, when he was a student back in 1971.  Defences from both parties have been received, both seeking to shift responsibility on to the other for the liabilities of the old polytechnic. 


We are now waiting for a date from the court for a hearing at which directions will be given for the further progress of the case.  In the meantime, our solicitor has set up a case conference with the barrister in Birmingham next month to go through the defences in detail and Steve has answered questions raised by Brookes solicitors arising from his statement.  


The defendant's firm, Berrymans Lace Mawer, specializes in serving the insurance industry.  Their approach to occupational disease claims, including asbestos-related diseases such as mesothelioma, notes that such claims often arise from a workplace where many employees were exposed to the same regime and there is always the potential for "tail" claims to follow from the first claim. Their website goes on to state "for this reason, it is often advisable to consider an 'economic settlement' in isolation, without taking into account the workplace and the potential for similar claims."  That seems to suggest a preference for out-of-court-settlements where there is more than one potential claimant, as in Steve's case.  With the benefit of that knowledge, it will be interesting to see how this case progresses.


Our solicitor has a rather different view of damages in relation to mesothelioma.  In an article written in June 2010, he says:

One cannot possibly assess the effect of receiving a diagnosis of cancer. However, with many forms of the illness there is a degree of hope of “beating” the condition. Mesothelioma, unfortunately, is not one of those.  Life expectancy is, in the main, between six and 18 months.  The sufferer knows that the condition will prove fatal and that life sentence is severely limited.  Whilst one can attach some understanding to the valuation of the vast majority of injuries and illnesses within the personal injury context, none of us, who are free of the condition, can truly value the damages for this condition....

.....The assessment of general damages for a condition which the claimant knows will imminently end his life is fraught with problems. There is a clear danger of demonstrating a remarkable degree of insensitivity to the plight of the sufferer/deceased. Calibrating the scale of damages by reference simply to the duration of pain, some of which, in the early stages, may be relatively mild is wholly unsatisfactory. 

The mesothelioma sufferer will invariably have a “horrible” end to his life. The mental anguish cannot be calculated or understood. Whilst accepting that no amount of money can possibly compensate for the knowledge of one’s imminent death it would, in my opinion, be far better to award a single figure for pain, suffering and loss of amenity ... to all sufferers of the condition, irrespective of their ultimate life expectancy and/or the medical investigations that they have to undergo.  Putting a dying man or his widow into court to listen to lawyers debate the extent of his pain is improper and reflects badly on the law and our society.

Monday, 2 August 2010

who could ask for anything more?




It has been the most amazing few days!  


One significant birthday has turned into a week long event. Cards started to arrive last Wednesday.  I was overwhelmed on Thursday, my birthday, by more cards, e-mails, messages and presents.  By the time our neighbour, Ludo, appeared with a bottle of pink champagne I was already in tears, which welled up afresh when bouquets of flowers started to be delivered.  


Steve and I went out for a birthday meal together Thursday evening.  We enjoyed a post-birthday supper when Katie and George arrived on Friday evening. After spending Saturday morning collecting food orders and more helium for the balloons, we had a post-birthday lunch with Jack, our nephew Nick, partner Kate and baby Esme who arrived from Bristol around midday.  


Getting the party venue ready for the celebrations was a mammoth task, but with a fantastic amount of help from Steve, Jack, Katie, George, Nick and Kate everything was transported to the community centre and we managed to finish transforming the place just as guests started to arrive.  


I was thrilled to see so many old friends from all corners of the UK, as well as Brussels and Vietnam (how impressive is that?) It was like the proverbial moment when your life flashes before your eyes, except in my case, the experience last many happy hours!  


There are too many of you to name and thank individually on the blog for making my birthday so special, including my "oldest" friends from school in London; friends going back to student days when I first came to Oxford in the late 60s; friends I used to work with at the City Council, some of whom are still there, and others who have moved on; friends from my current work who are actually scattered around the county, enjoying a rare opportunity meet up, along with their partners, children and grand children...


...Not forgetting our wonderful friends and neighbours from Henry Road and the wider West Oxford community, and those special people who have come into our lives via other routes and have been there for us ever since.  You all know who you are.  Last but not least, the family - Jack, Katie (and George, of course) Steve's brother Martin (with whom I share a birthday!) and Mary, niece Heather and her son Zac, nephew Matt and girlfriend Fliss, and Nick, Kate and Esme.  


Best birthday present of all, Steve was there, very much alive and kicking, notwithstanding the shattering diagnosis of mesothelioma last June.  Who could ask for anything more? It really was a very special celebration!  


The sun shone.  We had tea on the terrace overlooking the park.  Sol Samba the local Brazilian drumming band got us into carnival mood on the terrace then lead us into the main hall for the evening, where there was a buffet meal followed by a great session from the Pussycats which had us up and dancing the night away!  I hope you enjoyed yourselves as much as we did :-)


Here is a tiny snippet of Sol Samba in action - turn up the volume to get an idea of how it felt to be there!




Over the course of the next few days, I'll be in touch with you individually to say thank you for the amazing array of cards and presents which piled up on the table in the course of the afternoon and evening. I have finally been able to open them. The house now looks like a cross between a garden centre/florist, champagne/wine bar, chocolatier, delicatessen, jewelers, and art gallery with a book store corner!  


However, I want to say a special thanks to Ellie who designed and made the marvelous birthday cake (it looked wonderful and tasted delicious!) and those of you who helped set up the venue, lay out the food, clear away during/after the event and carry the important things back home!  We could not have done any of this without your help - a real team effort!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!


I'm sorry I didn't have very much time to talk to many of you, in some cases little more than hello and goodbye - but we hope to catch up with you during the rest of the summer and autumn.  My thoughts are also with those of you who would have joined us had circumstances been otherwise - whether it was for a nice reason, such as a holiday or your own special family occasion, something more serious - being unwell yourselves, or looking after loved ones who are poorly - or being unable to get away from work through no fault of your own.  


If you want to know what you missed - here are some of the photos, courtesy of Steve and Jack.  For a change, I didn't pick up the camera all day.  We look forward to seeing some you your images too!  


And thank you all again for the most amazing birthday ever!  
                             
Katie and Esme




Kate, Matt, Fliss and Nick


Martin and Mary

See if you can identify the rest!


















































































thank you Steve and Jack for taking the photos and video snips!







Friday, 30 July 2010

Birthday wish 2010

Dreams can come true
Look at me babe I'm with you
You know you gotta have hope
You know you gotta be strong

Gabrielle

I started last year's birthday wish list with words from Dreams Can Come True.  It seems appropriate to use those words again this year as, in many ways, dreams have come true. 

Leo the tumor is still stable, as far as we know. Now that the side effects of chemo have more or less worn off, Steve is feeling well in spite of occasionally complaining about his numb feet. He's seen in Katie's 21st birthday and my 60th yesterday (although the jog to pick up my bus pass will have to wait until November!) 

Those of you who are joining us for the celebrations this weekend will be able to see for yourselves just how well he is doing - still strong, still full of hope, still bopping!  My dearest birthday wish is that this state of affairs continues for at least the next 12 months.  

We are making the most of this very precious time - it's been great seeing and hearing from so many friends over this last year and we are looking forward to more face-to-face reunions this weekend!  

We'll raise a glass to those of you who can't join us, and to all the meso warriors, their families and friends who are putting up a strong fight against this disease, like Steve, as well as remembering all those who sadly lost the battle, including Steve's dad.

But there's no time to be sad - it's all systems go now!  Katie and George will be arriving soon.  The work computer is switched off.  Time to transform my office into a bedroom for Jack. The party lights have been collected and delivered to the venue.  The main food order has been dispatched ready to pick up tomorrow.  Cards, messages, flowers and presents continue to arrive. 

I am feeling overwhelmed by all your kind words and generosity. Thank you, thank you, thank you! I think this has been, and continues to be, the best birthday ever!




Wednesday, 28 July 2010

busy busy busy

It came as a surprise to see that the last blog was eleven days ago.  The time has flown by, being busy busy busy.....


In the last couple of weeks we have enjoyed a great tea party on a Thames Steamer to celebrate the ruby wedding anniversary of our friends Elizabeth and Roger.  


That was followed by a long weekend in Yorkshire to visit our daughter Katie and her partner George who recently moved into a wonderful new flat in a converted mill.  A belated house-warming meal in the flat and eating out together gave us the opportunity to catch up on their news and admire the new accommodation.  While we were there last Saturday morning, we did the tour of Huddersfield town centre which has some grand Victorian buildings as well as good modern architecture on the Uni campus.  Later that day we took the train into Leeds for a walkabout, ending up at a riverside Tapas Bar where we enjoyed a meal and a couple of beers outside in the early evening sunshine.


I've done a few day's work this week, but most of the time seems to have been spent on preparations for the big party to celebrate my significant birthday, which is tomorrow. Nevertheless, we managed to make some time this evening to meet up with an old friend, Richard, over briefly from France, as he can't stay for the celebrations this weekend.  


As I write, Steve is finishing my birthday card - another Wride "special." He has had to up his game this year to compete with two amazing cards which arrived in the post this morning, one from Chris and Glyn in Cornwall, and the other from Sue in Combe.  Each card has fantastic original artwork.  I am SO impressed - thank you, thank you, thank you :-)


Our wonderful friends and neighbours have rallied round to loan us cool boxes and bags so we have somewhere to store the food supplies which are beginning to arrive for the party.  We can hardly move in the back room down stairs for boxes - balloons, helium gas, lights, tablecloths, glasses, plates, cutlery, napkins, non-perishable items of food, drink.......and that's not counting the things stored off-site, the main lights being collected on Friday afternoon and the fresh food being collected/delivered on Saturday.  Now I understand why people employ party planners to do this sort of thing!


I think tomorrow will be a relatively relaxed affair - ticking off more things on the party "to do" list, making the house ready for Katie and George who are coming on Friday, and our son Jack who will be traveling here on Saturday with nephew Nick, Kate his partner and daughter Esme (who now has two teeth!) to help us get everything ready for the event at the venue.  


However, the champagne is on ice and, all being well, Steve and I will be able to spend some time together and have a good meal out before we are swept off our feet! 


Yesterday, a friend asked tentatively about presents. I can honestly say that I had not given it a thought.  I have already had the BEST birthday present I could have wished for - Steve is still here, very much alive and kicking, just over a year after being diagnosed with mesothelioma.  What more could I want?


Tomorrow I'll look back at last year's birthday wish list and think about the year ahead.  If you are curious about what that might involve, you'll have to come back!


Last but not least - I don't get my bus pass (or state pension, for that matter) tomorrow!  Since April 2010, everyone has to wait longer for their bus pass as the pension age for men and women is "equalized."  In my case, it will be November 2010...But it may not happen 'till I'm 65 - if at all - based on the current government's thinking.  The bus pass party will just have to wait :-))







Saturday, 17 July 2010

Living on the edge of a volcano

If you wonder where we have been, we've were living on the edge of a volcano  (a dormant volcano, I hasten to add!) for a week on the Greek island of Santorini, one of the relatively few Greek islands we had yet to visit over the years.  It was simply wonderful.  


Our holiday home had uninterrupted views of what remains of the volcano and the islands of the caldera, as well as the main town Fira perched on the cliffs in the middle distance, and Ia in the far distance.  The comings and goings of ferries and cruise ships entertained us over breakfast on the terrace in the morning and drinks on the balcony in the evening.  


We could have sat there all day just drinking in the view, but resisted the temptation and got out and about on foot and using the local bus service to explore the area of Akrotiri where we were based, and lap up the photo opportunities walking around the cliff top towns and villages and going up and down on the cable car which links the port and the town.  


Lots of steep steps, which were more of a problem for creaky knees than Steve's lungs, so we now have firmed up calf and thigh muscles as well as rapidly fading sun tans!


With fewer visitors than normal for this time of year, we were welcomed warmly by the Greeks who earn their living from tourism with little extra dishes and drinks "on the house" like it used to be in the days when you could buy a good meal for relatively few drachmaes.  All helped to contribute to a great break!



















The day after we returned we went to London for the launch of the RPS International Print Exhibition, which includes one of my photos, and today we joined in a riverboat party on the Thames to celebrate the almost 40th wedding anniversary of Elizabeth (a friend from my school days in London) and Roger.


Congratulations and love to both of you for the big day tomorrow!



Monday, 5 July 2010

ferry, ferry good!

It's OK - the title of today's blog is not a typo.....It's just that we seem to have enjoyed a lot of ferry crossings recently - in the Lake District, at Bristol harbourside and most recently, the Itchenor ferry which links the village of Itchenor with Smugglers Lane, Bosham, which is part of Chichester harbour.  


We spent the weekend with our friends Anne and Collin in Chichester and excellent it was too!  On our last visit in September 2009, the occasion was the Goodwood Revival and Steve was half way through his chemo. This year, chemo-free, we enjoyed ourselves beside the seaside with a wander around the village of Bosham, lunch on the terrace of the Ancre Bleu watching the tide come in, a stroll around the harbour and headland to catch the ferry to Itchenor, where Steve and I delighted in the photo opportunities offered by the boatyard.


Beautiful weather, excellent food, plentiful wine, great conversation and the perfect hosts - in short, a wonderful couple of days away from home. Thanks so much Anne and Col!  We look forward to returning the favour in the autumn!






If you want to know more bout our next ferry trip, drop by next week!

Friday, 2 July 2010

Action Mesothelioma Day

Today, the first Friday in July, is Action Mesothelioma Day.  The theme of this year's campaign by the British Lung Foundation is "Be asbestos aware".  Today's blog is my contribution to raising awareness of the risks associated with asbestos and highlighting some key facts about mesothelioma, the cancer caused by exposure to asbestos dust.


Key Statistics



Mesothelioma is a malignant cancer which develops between 15 and 60 years after exposure to asbestos in the two-layered membrane surrounding the lungs and lining the inside of the rib cage (pleura)

• Mesothelioma kills one person every five hours in the UK, yet only six per cent of people are aware of the disease

• The rising number of deaths from the condition is linked to the use of asbestos in the building industry up until the mid 1980s

• The number of mesothelioma deaths each year in the UK has increased from 153 in 1968 to around 2000 today

• Experts predict that we will face a mesothelioma epidemic between 2011 and 2015 as the death toll rises

• It is estimated that between 2006 and 2020, 30,000 people in the UK will die from mesothelioma, and that 90,000 will have died by 2050

Do you DIY?

Many people believe that asbestos is a thing of the past and are not aware that they could still be at risk today. The British Lung Foundation’s national campaign Be Asbestos Aware focuses on the risks to homeowners who do DIY in their properties.  If these were built between the 1950s and mid 1980s, they may contain asbestos. Astonishingly, asbestos was even being used in some cement products up until 1999.  So - don't take risks!

Top Tips


  1. Asbestos containing materials in good condition are not a health risk and should be left alone
  2. Never sand, drill or saw objects which may contain asbestos such as textured ceiling coatings, floor tiles or asbestos cement roofs
  3. Common places where asbestos could be found include floor tiles, toilet cisterns, textured ceiling coatings, asbestos cement roofs, soffit boards and linings of boiler cupboards
  4. Always seek professional advice from your local authority or an accredited asbestos removal company before thinking of removing asbestos materials
  5. Always make sure you have the correct personal protection equipment including:
    • Properly fitted mask to the standards EN149 (type FFP3) or EN1827 (type FMP3)
    • Overalls and boot covers – most home improvement stores will stock these
  6. If you are doing DIY in your own clothes, remove them carefully to avoid excess dust and wash straight away, separately from other clothing, in a washing machine
  7. Make sure you use a mask whilst dealing with them
  8. If you are working with asbestos materials always dampen down the surface to avoid producing dust
  9. Don’t smoke, eat or drink in the work area
  10. If you disturb asbestos do not use a domestic vacuum cleaner as dust may pass through the filter – hire a special (Class H) industrial vacuum cleaner that complies with British Standards – Look up ‘asbestos safety equipment hire’ on the internet for where to find one
  11. Do not put asbestos waste in the dustbin – seek advice from the council about how to safely dispose of it
Steve's exposure to asbestos was as a student in the early 1970s whilst demolishing walls and ceilings to create a large open plan studio at his place of study. That unprotected experience earned him a bit of money for Christmas but will cost him his life.  Please don't let that happen to you or your loved ones.